Headlines

I've read that an Alzheimer's brain in the later stages can be like a lamp with a frayed cord. Moments of light are flickering - depending on the inconsistent power from an unreliable cord.

Mom's lamp has been mostly off for about three years. It's been over three years since I've heard her say my name, or even look at me with some sort of glimmer of recognition. Dad will report an occasional smile, or an even more rare "Hi!". Her lamp cord will get bumped and her lamp light will flicker for a brief moment, and then it's gone. These are grand events for Dad...and if I'm getting an update on his week, he'll report a smile from Mom like a newspaper headline. It's these flickers of light that help to keep him going.

I visited Mom and Dad at the end of September. It's difficult to see Mom. She's lost so much weight she looks almost skeletal. She is now completely wheelchair bound and has difficulty sitting upright. Dad often struggles to keep her awake to feed her. She rarely talks. If she does, it might be one word, or a nonsensical string of sounds.

I pulled up a chair next to Mom and gave her a hug. And then I got in her face. "Hi, Mom...it's me, Missy....I came to see you...."

And then I saw something in Mom's eyes that I haven't seen in over three years. She looked right at me. She saw me. And then her eyes filled with tears. She opened her mouth as if she was going to say something, but no sounds came out. For a few minutes, her lamp light was on. I got to tell her I loved her, and that I missed her, and that I was really sorry that this happened to her. And even though she wasn't able to say anything, it really felt like I got to spend a few minutes with my Mom.

Here's my newspaper headline recapping the event:

Daughter tells her Mother she loves her. Mother understands.