Card Competition

Before Mom's birthday, I thought long and hard about an appropriate gift to give her. It's gotten rather tricky. She doesn't really express a want or need for anything, and she doesn't really have much for hobbies any more. So, this year I decided to do something a little different - I decided to send her a stack of birthday cards. Who wouldn't want to open the mailbox to find a large pile of birthday greetings, right?

And then it occured to me. The idea was not really mine. It was originally Mom's.

About 20 years ago, she sent my Uncle, her brother, maybe 30 birthday cards for his birthday. My Uncle Doc was a teacher for the Department of Defense - he taught on Army bases all over the world. He was an extraordinary man that had an extraordinary life. But, in the midst of all of his global adventures, every summer he came back to Ely, Minnesota to take care of my Granny and her house. My Granny has been a widow since her late 40's and my Uncle was a very dutiful and responsible son.

Every July Granny would receive a handful of birthday cards from friends and relatives and she'd proudly display them on top of her television. They would remain there until August, my Uncle's birthday, when his birthday cards would arrive. She'd take her cards down and display my Uncle's much smaller collection. My Uncle confessed to my Mom that he couldn't help but feel like this was like a competition to my Granny and he was losing. He knew the whole thing was rather silly, but my Granny has been known to be rather "silly" at times.

So, for his next birthday, Mom made certain that her brother won the birthday card battle. We sent him more cards than would fit on top of the television. My Uncle's birthday cards kicked Granny's birthday cards' little flat asses.

And that was the kind of thing Mom did all the time. She didn't send one birthday card, she sent 30. She didn't buy 2 boxes of Girl Scout cookies, she bought 20. She was constantly going out of her way to make other people feel good. Mom was a giver.

And there are times when Mom sneaks into my life unexpectedly. I'll find myself pursing my lips when I write like Mom did, or cursing at other drivers like she did, or even sending out stacks of birthday cards. I don't fear turning into my Mom. I can only hope that I will be more like her.

Happy Birthday

Today is Mom's birthday. She is 62 years old.

This video is a tribute to the gift of an immature sense of humor that my Mom blessed me with.

This Month's Installment

Here's this month's installment of synchronized swimming for your viewing pleasure. If you hang on until the 2 minute mark, you'll see where synchronized swimming and break dancing finally come together. Totally. Awesome.

Guilty Pleasures

Whenever Dad would leave for the weekend to go hunting, Mom would indulge in her two favorite guilty pleasures: romance novels and Cheetos. She’d curl up in the overstuffed chair in the living room and polish off the book and the bag of Cheetos in a weekend. If she ever lent the book to any of her friends, she’d have to explain the mysterious bright orange dust on the pages.

So, the other night I decided to channel Ma and I bought my own romance novel and bag of Cheetos. I stopped at the grocery store on the way home from work and I picked myself up the cheesiest looking romance novel I could find. Check it out.

Here’s the story:

Man and Woman meet.
From the moment they see each other they want to get into each others’ pants.
You have to wait until page 182 for them to do it.
The man gets stabbed and it interferes with their love-making, but they endure and are able to be gentle.
And something about happily ever after.

There are a LOT of great lines from this book. I actually highlighted a few of them. Some are maybe too racy, but let’s just say the words “throbbing” and “manhood” are used quite frequently. But, here’s my favorite line from the book:

“I want to make love to you until you can’t tell night from day, but the dangers of abandoning ourselves in each other are too great.”

Wow, ladies, huh? That line might be hard to top. And the best line I’ve ever heard?

“Would you like the Atari t-shirt on or off?”

Giddy Up

Here's a picture of Ma from 1968 riding "Wally the Walleye." Wally is the official greeter to all visitors to Kabetogema Lake - just outside of International Falls. Mom was 22 in this picture.



And here I am exactly 40 years later riding the same frisky fish. The last time I checked, I was 32.

High Hopes

Whenever I was feeling down, blue, or defeated, Mom used to sing me the song High Hopes by Frank Sinatra. Her singing would get louder and more obnoxious until I started laughing. I had no choice but to laugh. She had that Mom magic.

Here’s the song. If you care to sing along, I think it’s best to sing it slightly off key while snapping and stomping your feet. If you can’t make somebody laugh, you might be doing it wrong.